I frequently have clients complain that the “spark” has gone out of their relationship with their partner. In many cases these are people in committed and long-term relationships. My first response to this complaint is to have them remember the exciting time when two people are just learning about each other, going out of their way to make their partner feel special and spending just as much energy feeling special themselves. I believe that we long for those times, and we forget just how good we felt.
My goal in working with couples and individuals is to rekindle those feelings; the excitement of a stolen kiss, the quiet intimate moments when all you wanted to do was to sit and hear about their day or what they thought about the movie you just saw. There is so much joy in loving, and being loved by, another person that it should not be relegated to one day out of the year.
Below are some tips I have learned from others. I encourage you to ENJOY THE DAY, oh heck… live a little and ENJOY EVERY DAY WITH THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE!
|A love note left on your partner’s pillow, or stuck in their purse, briefcase or in the book their reading.|
|A card sent for no reason at all.|
|Bringing home a special treat that you know they love.|
|A call during the day, or a message left on the voice mail, just to say, “I’m thinking about you.”|
|A secret signal that says ‘I Love You’ that only the two of you know.|
|Depart and reunite with loving gestures. Come together with a loving welcome and put a loving seal on your farewell.|
|Put a note or flower in briefcase, desk drawer, trunk of the car, or by kitchen sink saying “Have I told you how much I appreciate you?|
|Script a “Why I love you” page, tie it with a ribbon and give it to your partner or better yet, frame it.|
|Talk together for 10 minutes every morning before getting out of bed or every evening before going to sleep and tell each other what you appreciate about each other.|
|Thank your partner for something everyday.|
|Look for props, ideas and places to go. There are wonderful resources and sources of romantic inspiration on the internet, TV, radio and in the newspaper.|
|Watch the sunset together. Bring a blanket and picnic.|
|Learn a new dance together. Take a class or use a dance video.|
|Take turns planning a surprise, mystery date.|
|Watch a gourmet cooking show, then cook a meal together.|
|Celebrate Valentines Day more than once a year. For example, celebrate your 1000th day together, or any of your firsts…such as your first date, or the day you started living together, or the day you first said, “I love you.”
Here’s wishing you a wonderful Valentines Day. Remember to be in the moment, always turn towards each other to communicate and connect…..and, enjoy the feeling of being in love.