Wondering how to show your children love? That you actually care?
Life can get crazy. Life with children can get even crazier—A sticky PB&J kiss after you step on a Lego crazy.
Kids need to feel secure in their relationship with their parents and that they’re an important part of the family unit. It can give them confidence and help them to be a better friend.
In her article, ‘5 Secrets to Love Your Child Unconditionally’, Laura Markham Ph.D. shares the following:
“Unconditional love isn’t just what we feel. It’s what the object of our love feels: love without strings attached. That means our child doesn’t have to be, or do, anything in particular to earn our love. We love her exactly as she is.”
If your child regularly feels loved, they will go far in life. If not, life will likely be a perpetual struggle. In light of this, what can you do to instill love?
Here are some ideas.
How to Show Your Children Love: Use Encouraging Words
Words are powerful for good or bad. They have the potential to make or break our mood.
Kind and encouraging words can give your child the feeling they could move mountains. When you speak words of appreciation to your child, you’re building them up:
“Way to go!”
“I’m proud of you.”
“You’re so special to me”
“I love you.”
This gives them the confidence to try something new and the power to pass on the encouragement.
Also, try written words. They can be read and reread. Seeing your handwriting has an impact on your child.
Write them a note and stick it in their lunchbox, write them a poem or a “thinking of you” card and mail it! No matter how you do it, just make sure you let them know how much you love them.
How to Show Your Children Love: Use Affection
Hugs, tickles or an arm around their shoulder convey that you care. Holding them as they cry over a loss or a stubbed toe lets your child know you think they are important to you.
Affection is a beautiful human reaction to feeling love and kindness towards another. When you hold your child’s hand or kiss their forehead, you express that you care.
Children want to know you are there for them and what better way to show it than with a bear hug and an “I love you”.
Setting Boundaries for Your Child
It may seem a little counter-intuitive but setting boundaries for your children—rules or guidelines—gives them security and shows them you care. They need room to grow and spread their wings but also need a safe place to do so.
You can give your children space with age-appropriate boundaries. Let them know why you’re setting up guidelines. Most of all, it’s because you love them.
Consistent Commitment to Love Your Child
Love your child without strings attached. Speak kindly about the ones they care about and laugh with them—not at them. These are all great rules to follow when it comes to anyone you care for but especially your children.
They’re watching you and will mimic you. Be an example. Practice being appreciative, using the gifts you have to build and encourage others.
If you commit to loving your child, they’ll find it far easier to love their children and others in their lives someday as well.
It can easily be argued that there’s no greater contribution you can make in the world than raising a loving child. The world is starved for unconditional love and your child will be able to make a positive difference—all because you first committed to loving your child.
Could you use some extra help with showing your children love? If so, the Valencia Relationship Institute is always here to help. We offer parent and child and parent and teen counseling in Valencia, CA. Scheduling an appointment is super quick and easy.