silhouette drawing of young couple embracing, under a tree with red hearts instead of leaves, couple next to a park bench with tan background, couple has learned to ask what does romance mean to you

Ever stopped to ask yourself, “What does romance mean to you?” Or, better yet, have you asked your partner that question?

If you haven’t, you may be surprised by how different your answers wind up being.

Ask a room full of people to name their favorite ice cream and chances are good that you’d get a variety of answers. Chocolate cherry, butter pecan or superman could be a few of the possible responses. In fact, one person’s favorite may be on another’s “ice cream to avoid” list.

In the same way, when you pose the question “What does romance mean to you?” you may hear, “a candlelit dinner, cuddles by a campfire, or a love letter with flowers.” Or…you may hear something completely different.

In his article, ‘10 Ways to Make Your Relationship Magically Romantic’, Barton Goldsmith Ph.D. shares a sad reality:

Creating magical moments in your relationship is something everyone thinks about, but few people do.”

But as Goldsmith and this article suggest, you don’t need to be like most people. You can build a wonderfully romantic relationship with proper planning.

What Does Romance Mean to Your Partner?

Staying in tune with what your partner considers romantic is vital. Virtually everyone’s heard of the five primary love languages. They include:

  •          Quality Time
  •          Acts of Service
  •          Words of Affirmation
  • ·        Receiving Gift
  •          Physical Touch

We all give and receive love differently. The important thing is to find out what kind of romantic gestures mean the most to your partner and then provide them. Take the time to ask your partner which of these expressions of love best meet their needs.

Does your special someone absolutely beam when you write them a love letter? Does it put a genuine smile on their face when you hold their hand or take the time to sit down together to work on a puzzle? Or maybe physical intimacy is a big deal.

What You Find Romantic May Be Different

Romance is about thinking of your lover’s needs and wants. When you’re in a relationship, it’s important to find out what your partner views as romantic.

Don’t assume you’re the same. We aren’t cookie cutter beings and assuming that will usually end in disappointment. Study them and get to know their likes and dislikes.  Ask them and “take notes”!

No one expects you to be a mind reader. And people’s romantic likes change through the years (just like your favorite ice cream flavor can change). So, grab that cup of coffee with your favorite person and ask them, “What does romance mean to you?”

Be Open About Your Favorite

So, your idea of a romantic evening is different than theirs? It’s important to let them know what you view as romantic, too.

We’re all unique. If camping under the stars is romantic to your partner but makes you think only of the creepy crawlies lurking around you, be honest. Maybe you could compromise and discover another special way to be together in a very romantic way. Communication is key.

What Does Romance Mean to You Summary

In theory, meeting your partner’s romantic needs sounds easy. In practice, there’s a huge learning curve. And along the path to relational bliss, life throws many curveballs that can disrupt the balance of even the healthiest relationships.

If you’re feeling out of balance in your relationship or the romance seems to be dying, now could be a great time to consider talk therapy. Sometimes the help of a trusted professional is just what you need to regain relational momentum.

Feel free to schedule an appointment at your convenience with the Valencia Relationship Institute for Valencia, CA couples counseling.